The poorest performing sales consultant at AtlantiConnect and Placentia Waters’ baby boy is now on Twitter filling you in on his life events.
Fuzzy is the titular character of my new play, Fuzzy Waters, which is to be performed August 19-22 in the Black Box Theatre. The Twitter updates will provide viewers with some of the play’s flavor and goings-on.
Lesandra Dodson has organized an evening of contemporary dance, writing and music. It features performers Susie Burpee, Linnea Swan and Susanne Chui, music by Michael Doherty and Luis Cardoso, photography by Maria Cardoso-Grant and text by the Vagabond Trust’s own Step Taylor.
Inspired by the work of illustrator and creative dandy Edward Gorey, the show is rich with darkness, humor and melancholy.
Check it out at the Black Box Theatre on St. Thomas University campus in Fredericton, NB. Tickets are available now, $15 in advance and $20 at the door. Show starts at 8-PM and runs June 12th and 13th.
For more info and ticket purchases visit http://www.brokenspokedance.ca/home.html
Love,
Steppy
Hello Web,
We vagabonds have been roving during the past month on our own tours of the mind and seem to have neglected you.
On the occasion of Mother’s Day I give you a scene I concocted after my mom told me about her experience of having her first impersonal (obviously) mammogram. It is part of a work in progress. Its working title is:
THE MAMMOGRAM VAN
A dramatic scene by Jordan Trethewey
[Knocking on an open office door. GAVIN GUNN is seated behind his desk. ]
FAY: Mr. Gunn?
GAVIN: Yes? Come in.
FAY: [steps inside] Umm…
GAVIN: Yes?
FAY: Would it be possible for me to book a temp for Friday?
GAVIN: May I ask why?
FAY: Something’s come up.
GAVIN: Up? Is anything wrong?
FAY: No. I’m just booked for an appointment I’ve been waiting for.
GAVIN: Oh, sure, sure. Go ahead.
FAY: Thank you.
[Fay turns to leave office.]
GAVIN: Oh, Fay?
FAY: Yes, Mr. Gunn.
GAVIN: Three guesses.
FAY: What?
GAVIN: Let’s play, like, you’re a genie and I get three guesses.
FAY: Genies grant wishes.
GAVIN: Not all of them.
FAY: I’m pretty sure all of them.
GAVIN: Can’t some grant guesses?
FAY: No.
GAVIN: [beat] Okay, then, my first wish is for three guesses.
FAY: What are you even talking about? I’m not a genie.
GAVIN: But if you were…I’d want three guesses.
FAY: What for?
GAVIN: To find out why you need Friday off.
FAY: No.
GAVIN: Come on! It’ll be fun.
FAY: No. Can I be excused now, sir?
GAVIN: Nope.
FAY: I really think I should go back to work for you now.
GAVIN: It can wait. Three guesses.
FAY: It’s personal.
GAVIN: Even better.
FAY: Absolutely not.
GAVIN: You still want Friday off, don’t you?
FAY: [beat] I see how it is.
GAVIN: Good.
FAY: That’s unfair.
GAVIN: First question.
FAY: Never mind. I’ll reschedule it. I’ll be in on Friday.
GAVIN: Oh, fine, you can still have Friday off.
FAY: Thank you.
[beat]
GAVIN: Brazilian.
FAY: Excuse me? What?
GAVIN: I understand they can be quite painful and take some time. You are going to the Bahamas in few weeks, am I right?
FAY: Yes, I mean, no!
[Turns to leave, offended]
GAVIN: Okay, okay! Hmmm…your husband’s having a vasectomy and you need to drive him home and ice him down! [slaps hand on desk]
FAY: No! What is wrong with you?
GAVIN: [under breath] Hmmm … gear doesn’t work. [beat] Sperm shopping!
FAY: Good God!
GAVIN: Be careful, Fay, all sales are final.
FAY: Jesus! If you must know, I finally have an appointment for a mammogram.
GAVIN: Lumps, eh? I thought the hospital couldn’t afford the scanner?
FAY: They can’t. The region has one machine, traveling mall to mall once a month with a technician.
GAVIN: What a great job.
FAY: Yes, well, I finally get to subject myself to this humiliating joy Friday.
GAVIN: Mall to mall breast exams. What a wonderful world.
FAY: Truly.
GAVIN: I mean, all those women… [makes boob-grab gesture]
FAY: Mr. Gunn, I find this very inappropriate.
GAVIN: Just concerned is all, Fay. [beat, under breath] Lucky tech.
FAY: I hate to burst your bubble, but it’s usually a female technician.
GAVIN: Oh? Well, that’s a bit sexist, don’t you think?
FAY: Sexist?
GAVIN: Yeah. Why can’t men do it?
FAY: Let me get this straight. You think breast screening is sexist because it is normally performed by a female technician in a traveling, logoed, van in a mall parking lot—
GAVIN: Yes, but—
FAY: —while men are checked for prostate and testicular cancer in the private, sterile confines of a doctor’s office?
GAVIN: Men should be able to do it too, I mean, our biological imperative dictates we’re better at it.
FAY: What are you—
GAVIN: Foreplay, Fay! And come to think of it, you’re right. I’ve only had male physician’s check out my equipment. That’s sexist too, if you ask me. More women should be checking more prostates and more men should me examining breasts. It’s about equality, Fay. It seems more natural. Darwinian.
FAY: Well, if you want that kind of equality, I heard you can get that at the mall too. After hours, around back. Flick your lights three times.
GAVIN: Not very clinical though.
[beat]
FAY: Well…
GAVIN: Yes, well, good talking with you, Fay. We need to talk more often. Not just about schedules and collating and whatnot; real conversation. Get to know what makes us tick.
FAY: Sure, Mr. Gunn. [beat] I’ve certainly gained…insight.
GAVIN: Good, good, good.
FAY: So…Friday?
GAVIN: Yes, yes, of course, Friday. Have fun!
[Fay exits.]
Blackout.
Copyright 2008. All Rights Reserved.
Until Again,
Cannonball Captain
